It’s natural for every human being to consume food and evict waste. For students, the art of number #2 is an important discussion, especially when it comes to finding that perfect crap spot in the institution we consider our second home. Here are the best and the most strategically-placed restrooms in campus.
You’re welcome.
5. Candido Tirona Hall (CEAT)
Rating: 3/5 bidets
Deep within the confines of the College of Engineering, Architecture and Technology (CEAT)’s temporary building, there lies a duality of restroom quality. The comfort rooms on the side near Acacia Road has the women’s on the ground floor and the men’s on the second, both on the side of the campus with the least amount of people passing by, which is ideal for any dumping site. However, the comfort rooms near the MTH court is in a crowded and cramped spot, with the men’s toilet cubicle being directly under the staircase for an additional, but unnecessary Harry Potter homage.
Reviews:
“Yung [boy’s] CR pala sa CEAT, mala Harry Potter, nasa ilalim ng hagdan. Yung mismong toilet bowl nasa ilalim ng stairs. Epic.“ – Golteb, CSCS
4. College of Business and Administration (CBAA)
Rating: 3.5/5 bidets
CBAA’s interior is always well-lit, with the afternoon sunlight shining on the students as they traverse down the hallways. But behind the building with more than sufficient lighting lies a restroom with cubicles far removed from the sunshine. This makes it the perfect place for business students to, well, do their business.
Reviews:
“CR sa CBA 4th floor sobrang tago hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahha subok ko na.“ – DILF, CBAA
3. Julian Felipe Hall 2nd floor (CLAC)
Rating: 4/5 bidets
You wouldn’t expect a highly-populated building to be in this list, but for those unfortunate enough to feel the unexpected call of nature, it’s all about which restroom is the closest. Thankfully, JFH doesn’t fall behind when it comes to restroom facilities. Sadly though, there’s a window between the men’s and women’s comfort rooms, which means there’s gender equality in the least desirable aspect: odor distribution.
Reviews:
“I feel so relieved whenever I go to this restroom to take a pee. It’s like we have this concealed connection that’s been frozen for years. And when I took a dump there, I realized it was the aura of the bidet. “ – Selfie-muna-bago-jumebs, CLAC
2. Paulo Campos Hall (CSCS)
Rating: 3.5/5 bidets
A true enigma—PCH isn’t exactly on the far side of the university, but it is rarely frequented by college students that aren’t taking up biology majors. The restrooms, especially those for males, have an eerie feel to them that will scare the crap out of you. Rumor has it that mass genocides have occurred in the confines of PCH restrooms, which could help drive away passersby as you do your thing in sweet, sweet isolation.
Reviews:
“PCH restrooms, especially the one on the last floor. Not just because of the bidet but also the coziness and the absence of disturbance. “ – ILY-knee-coal, CEAT
1. DLSU-D Chapel
Rating: 4.5/5 bidets
The house of faith bears no ill to all sinners entering the holy halls and ridding themselves of their… transgressions, peacefully and undisturbed. It doesn’t matter if the smell is discreet or overwhelming, because nobody will judge you here. The toilets are comfy, clean and reliable, but in the event that your heavy sins end up clogging one, you can always pull your pants up, go outside, and ask for forgiveness. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
Reviews:
“The chapel CR is a confined and safe space best for a great pooping experience.” – Yes-definitely-yes, CLAC
Honorable mentions:
Information and Communications Technology Center (ICTC) building
Unfortunately, the restrooms are no longer available for students. But those who have experienced how it’s like to take a dump within the four walls of the ICTC’s restroom on the first floor would know that its quietness and spaciousness are the stuff of legends.
Hotel Rafael
If the restrooms in this building were accessible to all students, Hotel Rafael would undoubtedly be number one in the list. The elegant interior of the comfort rooms are 5-star worthy, and the plants used as decoration gets you in touch with nature in more ways than one.